Reading all of this, I realize I am older than dirt. In two months I will be 89. My husband died almost two years ago. We were married for 59 years. I felt some of me died with him. We are having fires in California. The big one is close to me. We were under voluntary evacuation until yesterday afternoon. At my age I felt ill equipped to handle of this on my own, but I did it. Got the van packed with important papers, change of clothes, etc. Slept in my clothes in case we got the call at night. There was a lot of anxiety. But I did it and survived. Even at this advanced age I have started therapy. Don't know how many years are left but I decided I was worth it and trying to feel better about it. I do not take drugs.