cmiddlet, here's an excellent book available on Amazon that could be helpful and ease your mind:
"Moving a Relative, Other Transitions in Dementia Care" by Laurie White and Beth Spencer.

Yes, she and I evaluated in person several memory care units, and she chose one, and didn't complain about being taken there. I believe that she thinks that I couldn't stand living with her anymore, and she's there because of me instead of because of her.

She went into a memory care only facility in July, but I'm not very happy with it, or perhaps she's not very happy with it. She doesn't complain, but she's not eating well (admittedly the food there isn't good, but I can eat it), doesn't interact with other residents or participate in activities, and has a roommate who is almost comatose, but she doesn't want to switch. She doesn't bathe regularly and blames it on the facility, but they tell me it's because she doesn't want to and doesn't change her clothes. I wonder if this is a willful rebellion against me for putting her there, or if it's indicative of cognitive decline. There are some nicer facilities in the area, and I could try to get her into one, but my impression is that it wouldn't make any difference. Her ability to have intelligent conversations is still sharp, but she is starting to ask the same questions about appointments, etc. If I move her, I'd have to buy furniture and a GPS tracker so she wouldn't "escape." She just won't talk to me about how she feels and what she wants to do, and the staff at her facility aren't very helpful.