Justsara, Bless your sweet heart. I guarantee you who knew how much you loved him with all your heart. Precious lady, you are letting "false guilt" eat away at your emotions. Please don't do that to yourself. It sounds like you guys had a wonderful marriage. I'm sure he loved you very much and that you were a wonderful wife. Please put your mind at ease and take peace and comfort in that. Hugs & Prayers....