It’s because I love you…

@dg0797 Yes, it is so important. My husband and I are fairly newly married [only 4 years], but both approaching 70. He chose to have a good friend of mine, who is also a lawyer, serve as MPOA and POA alongside of him. As I updated my own paperwork recently, I checked in with the people previously named, and asked them if they were still comfortable in the roles, which they were. Everyone has a copy of paperwork.

Your last paragraph is important for everyone to remember. And as @IndianaScott mentioned, when a person's wishes fly in the face of a family member's desires, having it down in writing cements it into place.
Ginger

Good morning @dg0797 I am sorry to read of the loss of your husband. You are so right that, while difficult discussions, these types of talks should be undertaken sooner rather than later.

In our case, my wife was diagnosed with her brain cancer at just 48. Within a couple of months, she was no longer able to make rational decisions and we were deeply thankful we tackled those uncomfortable issues immediately.

We just never know in life what we will be handed, have to deal with, and at what point.

Strength, Courage, & Peace

Thank you all for this discussion. When my husband and I retired several years ago, before we began travelling most of the year, we created all those documents. Now, as our family has grown to include grandchildren and we have added a small second home & our health has changed, it is time to revisit all documents. We shall do so this summer, then have the discussion with our daughters (again.)
Sue

@janet7. An individual's request or wishes can be written informally on a piece of paper-dated & signed by the individual & witnessed by 2 individuals who are not the chosen surrogate; or- the individual can use an approved document (usually state specific). I can attest only for us here in northeast Florida- a lawyer is not required to complete a living will or designation of health care surrogate. For northeast Florida for instance, Community Hospice worked with local hospital systems to come together to develop a living will and designation of health care surrogate form that would be used, recognized and followed. It is called Honoring Choices Florida (no lawyer required). Some may opt to use a lawyer in completing a living will and include statements designating who will represent the patient in medical decision-making if the individual becomes unable to express themselves. If a Mayo Clinic Florida patient, a 1:1 consultation can be ordered by your primary physician; we would encourage the patient to come with their significant other (s) and a trained facilitator will assist the patient in completing. If not a Mayo Clinic patient but a resident of northeast Florida, your local Community Hospice could assist. A key person that could assist you/your husband more specifically, is his primary care physician who can direct you to resources available in your region/state. Remember: Most importantly- is the individual's ability to make decisions in completing these if not already done; otherwise- if the individual is unable to, the right to speak on behalf of the patient falls to the next legal surrogate. Any hospital or care facility would work towards achieving goals set by the patient as long as within the legal limits of the law in the state in which the individual is receiving care. A lot of information- I know; keeping it as general as possible.

That would be a good way to start the conversation..

Absolutely Beautiful and So Needed in all of our lives. We all need to act on the "pre-arranging". Thank you for this. It's lovely. Blessings....

#covidstinks2023
I am so glad you enjoyed it! Keep in mind "pre-arranging" doesn't only include the complex issues but sharing the simple, in the event of being unable to express them at a later time such as -what you consider a good day, things that bring you comfort, what does quality of life mean to you? and things that are non-negotiable;) Thank you for the blessings!

Very nice!

I worked for two attorneys during the last 23 years of my working life. They were probate and trust attorneys. So fortunately for me I didn't have most of the superstitions that plague a lot of people when they have to make end of life decisions. We had my employer draw up all the necessary documents. We also made our end of life decisions. It made a huge difference.
As for making your own will, this is called a holographic will. Here in California, you state your name, make sure it is dated, state how you wish you estate distributed and sign it. That's all. It must be entirely in your own handwriting. In fact we probated a will which was written on a 3" by 5" card. It followed all the rules and was accepted as a valid will. Every state will have their own rules so if you want to do it yourself, find out what they are. Don't seek advise from relatives or friends.

I did the same thing, I'm in Canada and most provinces here accept this type of will, only 2 don't. It's a great idea and can save you lots of money, I made my will the first time when I was going on vacation, I have to laugh, I know it has to be written in your own handwriting however, I have a tremor that turned up after covid so it impairs my ability to write, I compensate by printing but I'm wondering how to handle this one, if I write it, I can't even make out what I wrote, lol, printing is slow but legible so perhaps I should make two copies, why not, it doesn't cost anything. Thank you for bringing up this subject, it's really helpful and perhaps lot of people will be happy to hear that they have this option.