I relate to that a lot. its why I am trying to get into a DBT program. they all have waiting lists. But i've heard lots of good things about that kind of program. The meds help with giving me the gusto to tackle life and try to change me. It's a huge and painful and frustrating process, but one I think is worth it. I remember what it feels like to not be out of whack. I yearn for that again.

Having entered in my 8th decade, I've my share of much of what u said...injustices endured, missing an engaging challenging discussion on matters of life-and-death and what makes our time-here 'worthwhile,' but with having lived an 'enriched' life, while missed some, I feel the net had been acceptable/no-regrets...after all u never know how BAD life could've turned out!

But moments of delight and levity are essential...even in war zones, humans have learned to make songs and play music. I like classical in the wee hours (am a late riser but get restful 8 hrs). My senior cat makes a call when it wants to play about 2/3 times a day. It helps him get some exertion and me a free pleasure to rub his smooth frry face.

But injustices? The last one decade ago upended my work but I'd been planning to retire to finish another venture. But finally I came to realise that often what others' injustices also expose a side of theirs that helps us understand WHY they do so: a peak into their flaws and that has helped me mostly ignore their conduct, even tho u feel they get their 'justice' from somewhere else! Generally, I believe they are tormented. In the end, its My time now that is in my control: Get the most out of it! Almost always there Are better another way. That's how I get my a few times of belly laughs as I listen to news on CBC. Another is doing 'wordle' game by new York Times near midnite. Hope it helps!