Ginger - If you could elaborate, how did you know your "mother suffered from her own mental instability" when, as you describe it, you had grown up taking it as "normal"....?

I completely understand if you don't want to elaborate, or need to do so only generally, but I do risk asking because this is an area where I struggle to understand my own mother's condition - if there is one that could be identified, (let alone understood, without her involvement). Since I was first introduced to the concept of narcissism around 2000, I've believed both of my parents suffered as narcissists - likely one overt, one covert.

As my dear mother is advanced in years and so I've decided I don't want to address this openly with her at this point; I think it would only open up too much pain and likely would not resolve anything enough to make a difference at this point (though I'll always probably retain at least a 5% hope that all could be laid out, cleared up, resolved and forgiven).

My sister survived her attempt, and I'm still hoping for a better future for both of us, even though my own identity is stuck / lost because I am no longer working and cannot seem to get out of a complete lack of motivation and inability to identify specific goals at this point.

So, these days, any insights from others here at Mayo Clinic Connect really are the backbone of my hope for growing beyond this malaise.

Thank you - and to anyone else who cares to share - how they identify/ied more specifically the mechanics of their family environment, and what works/ed for them - and what doesn't - to get themselves beyond all this...on the inside...I'm not thriving, I'm not even striving.

Best to all who travel here...