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"You're not the only one dealing with issues!"
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Jul 23, 2023 | Replies (48)Comment receiving replies
@centre- OMG, you sound like what I did with emails and calls. And the last thing I wanted to discuss was Dave's symptoms. I was living them! And nobody knocks on your door asking if they can do your dirty laundry or clean your toilet! I kept the seat down!
"We're here" for you means something entirely different to me than it does to people who say it. It means nothing because nothing happens if I don't make the next step.
Any form of dementia is difficult to deal with. Dave was getting up one night, and because of a slippery comforter, he slid right off the bed while I yelled, "NO." While he was trying to get up, I was on the floor trying to straighten his legs, because of his disease, his legs were like steel. We were on that damn floor for a good 2 hours. I finally got him to crawl and we got his 2 arms up on the bed and the rest is history. We wound up laughing but I was very scared that I wouldn't be able to get him up. The lesson in this, I think is that it's a funny story but it goes beyond that. It's the wet floor, the complete change of clothing, a drink of water and still having to go to the bathroom. And the relief of not having to spend the night on a wet wood floor.
I subsequently found out that you can call your fire department and they will come to your house and get someone back into bed or get them up off the floor.
Are you still struggling with this?
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Hi Merry- You asked if I’m still struggling, I guess you could say we’ve “graduated” to the next level. My husband, after the ring went on, revealed himself to be a very easily irritated person, who coped with any level of frustration by screaming and “acting out”. As the years went by, and I now know dementia was creeping in, I coped by working alot of hours and keeping out of his way. COVID was actually a blessing as eating out was no longer an option, it had always been a possible opportunity for a melt-down and I’d be on edge.
The last year at home, he became even more angry and uncooperative with me- wouldn’t eat what was prepared, wouldn’t let me set up a pillbox or participate in the meds, wouldn’t shower or change clothes, turned night into day and day into night. All this culminated in out-of-control diabetes, delirium, and encephalopathy- off to the ER with a friend’s help. He was admitted, stayed 2 weeks, had two major meltdowns in 8 days for which Security had to be called. His PCP and the hospital neurologist said he could not be handled at home. For my work, I had visited every assistive living in our county, the one I liked the best had an opening, he went by w/c van, although fully ambulatory- I was afraid he wouldn’t get out of the car if I took him.
Fast forward a year and 3 months, he is at his healthiest ever with the structure of the assistive living, the diabetes is under good control, he’s made a circle of guy friends who hang out together, he loves to tease and chat with the staff. I visit twice weekly for an hour each time and make sure he has the things he wants and needs, take him out for drives and stops at the Dairy Queen drive-through in good weather.
I’m still struggling a bit with being in the house alone and being in charge of all the things that keep a house going, but my brother and SIL live nearby and we’re all close.
I’m also struggling with my husband’s mood and something that just happened two days ago. I’ve had very mixed feelings over the past year with his new mood- very pleasant, very appreciative, never a hint of irritability. Has he mellowed with the proper medication and the dementia? Does he remember how mean he was and feel regret? Does he have insight that he should be nice as I’m the one who gets him what he wants? Maybe I should take him home? But two day ago, in the DQ drive-through, he suddenly erupted and I was right back in the old days. Sometimes God sends a warning, I’m thinking this was one and I better pay attention.