Welcome to the forum rxw1853. You are in a good place for support with your situation.

First, bless you for working so hard to care for your wife!
As many other full time caregivers here can attest to, it is an ABSOLUTELY consuming and exhausting job, physically, mentally and emotionally.

Second, I am so sorry you’ve had a friend speak to you this way. Perhaps, do to their own problems, they were just upset at the time and they didn’t mean to come across so harshly. Also, maybe they were not aware of how ill your wife is and thus, how consumed you are by it. Often times, people simply can’t imagine and don’t understand how consuming caregiving is unless they’ve been there; and even more so when it’s a loved one and/or you’re the primary caregiver. If it was a genuine stab at you personally, I say: shame on them!
Your wife is obviously (and rightly) your first and most priority in life. It sounds like you’re someone who perhaps your friends can and have relied on in the past. That’s wonderful and unfortunately, hard to find these days.
But, someone is only a true friend to you if they can be supportive or at least try to understand and cut you some slack when you are enduring such a hardship in your life.

If you feel this friend was just upset or not understanding, maybe try first explaining that you don’t want to hurt their feelings, but your wife needs you immensely right now and you just don’t have time for much outside of that. Maybe then tell them they are important to you and you would still like to enjoy time together. Ask them how you two might keep in touch in a more brief way. Leave the ball in their court.

Unfortunately sometimes when we’re in dire distress (as you are now) is when we find out who truly is our friend. I really hope they come around.

Food for thought:
“ A true friend shows love at all times And is a brother who is born for times of distress.”
(Proverbs 17:17)

Also, I really hope you can find some answers and help for your wife. Don’t forget to take care of yourself too, physically and mentally. You can only care for her if you are well.