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← Return to Anger. Guilt. Anger….cycle
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1K195 you are so right! I don’t have the anger anymore. The person that posted “one day at a time “, that one day turns into one month, one month turns into one year and that turns into 5 years and then ten years and on it goes! No I don’t know the person I once was. The person I am now is tired, passed being sad, I just feel like I exist to clean and care for my dh (dear husband) . Not even sure if there is truly life outside of the isolation and loneliness. Not trying to be a downer but we have been on this horrible journey for way too long, over 22 years!
Replies to "1K195 you are so right! I don’t have the anger anymore. The person that posted “one..."
@joyd3, your post is so expressive, capturing the bittersweet heartache of what you are experiencing. I feel for you. Maybe there is a special place for the caregivers who give their all and more, day in and day out, without respite, wherever that is.
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I’m so sorry it has gone on so long for you. It’s been nearly 12 years for us and I feel the same, as I clean, cook and care for my husband. I miss conversations. He is pleasant and asks how I slept, but then asks what day it is. A new wrinkle: I had a heart attack in May and have severe coronary artery disease. I hope with exercise and some diet changes, I’ll be around for quite a while, but am feeling a lot more mortal. The options will not be good for my husband, if I die first. He will not be able to remain in our home, which makes me sad, but all I can do is try to remain healthy and not dwell on those possibilities. Even with help from an eldercare attorney, with plans in place, there’s nothing I can do but keep on cleaning, cooking and caring for him.