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← Return to Anger. Guilt. Anger….cycle
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I share your pain. And I mourn the loss of the relationship we had until Lewy came to visit. Will celebrated 50yrs last November. He doesn't remember it & at the time, he did not recognize our older son (thought he was Sanat Claus, but he hardly resembles Santa), our brother-in-law or our oldest grandson! The only thing he remembers is seeing our daughter in the dress his mom wore as mother-of-the-groom at our wedding & the ride to the restaurant where we celebrated. I don't know my husband anymore either & with the Capgras syndrome, he doesn't always recognize me, other family members or our house, in which we have lived for 42 years this Saturday. Occasionally though, there is some joy, when some of his old characteristics appear. More often now that he has been on Nuplazid (34mg) for 3 1/2 weeks.
Hang in there, as we all do.
Pauline (Lena)
Replies to "I share your pain. And I mourn the loss of the relationship we had until Lewy..."
I'm probably going to feel the anger and guilt cycle today, the 4th. If I don't visit my wife in her memory care facility, I'll feel guilty, but if I do, she'll try to keep me there as long as possible, and I have other things to do today, so I'll end up angry at myself. As I mentioned before, she knows me, and can carry on a conversation, but doesn't offer anything in return, and other than seeing her, it's not a productive use of my time. I have to take her to an MD appointment tomorrow, anyway, and then go back on Thursday for a "new residents' caregiver" meeting. I feel like a taxi driver, where I am the driver and passenger.
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In the moment is so easy to feel like I am the only one that feels the way I feel. It’s reassuring to know it’s not just me. Such a roller coaster of emotions.
Take care:)