Thanks. He does have a brother locally who is also helping. I'm his best friend and he trusts me, and does occasionally break through his stubbornness with some good coaching. I will talk to him about the feeding tube. Knowing him I can already anticipate his answer, but I will try to prepare to overcome that too. He will say, "How do I know that I won't need this for the rest of my life and I don't want that"? and "How will they know when they can take it out? When they do I might just be right back to being nauseated and not hungry again." I kind of understand the second point. That would be hard to know.

He is unhappy because he says that nobody prepared him for all the possible debilitating side effects of his surgery. For instance, his vocal cords did not close after the surgery, and therefore he had to get a tracheostomy, which he hated. Fortunately this resolved, and they've just taken out. But now his voice is extremely hoarse again. And he was someone who loved to eat, not in quantity but in quality, he's got a fantastic palate. And now he's so distressed because he is always too nauseated to eat and never feels hungry. I feel so bad for him and it's just thrown him into a deep depression. Of course he says that depression meds "don't work" on him. It's hard to get him past this fatalistic attitude, and it's frustrating because his cancer had not spread, and he has probably the best chance of many to power through this and survive. And if he has any other setback requiring chemo or radiation, I'm afraid he's just going to give up. Thank you very much for your helpful information and I hope things continue to improve for your husband.