How I wish I could give you a hug! Yes, fear is pervasive and I'm pretty sure very few folks on this site have a complete handle on it. My saving grace for years was a friend clear across the country who also had the disease. We exchanged whines, fears, joys, and prayers constantly. Then she died. It sent me into a tailspin that I didn't think I could recover from. Three years of almost total isolation and the loss of my touchstone was too much. I had to seek professional help. I see a Christian therapist once a week. While she has no personal knowledge of this disease, she is willing to listen, offer resources, and pray with me.
My suggestion for when the breathing scares you is one, the oximeter, and two, distraction. My panacea for most everything is to play with the dog. She loves me unconditionally, is always happy to have my attention, and shines the love of God through her eyes. I hope this helps you, Bon. I know you're walking down a very bumpy road. But all of us are here for you...just keep writing!