Dear gynosaur42,
With every response I feel more blessed and supported! Today was a bit of a difficult day for me as my anxiety level about waiting for Friday's meeting is off the charts. I did some errands today with my husband and every place we went, all I could think of was "will this be my last time here"? I know that is not a good way to view things but it's all I could muster today. When I read your words about breathing and moving and trying to eat as well as possible without stressing over that also, I got strength and moved on! My daughter brought sunshine today with a joke about air conditioning as we spent a few hours at the dealership with a poorly running ac. She sent a text when she got home from work and said, "Do you have working ac"? I immediately thought her home ac was down, then she said, "Mom your car ac"! It just made me laugh out loud:) I want and intend to have more moments like that no matter the news on Friday. I have an amazing PCP who tells me daily about the advances in cancer treatments and that we are a village, this is not a solo act. Like her, you and the women on this site are incredible and even in the darkest hours, I will think about and remember what is said here. We don't give up, right? The one thing that scares me more than anything is the stage iv determination. With that though, I'm determined to fight even more! Have a wonderful evening and I hope we speak again soon.