That's such a difficult set of circumstances and, unfortunately, an all too common situation in our country. My heart goes out to you and your family members. In my experience (with my mother and later, with my sister), there are no ideal solutions but it's not entirely hopeless either. Since our family does not have Warren Buffett wealth which would allow for competent around-the-clock in-home care, the best option for us was a nursing home. If you choose to go this route, the online U.S. News & World Report is an excellent source of information. It provides helpful suggestions in choosing a home near you and it ranks each home according to important criteria. Over the years, we used several nursing homes--- some better than others. We discovered that by having a family member or close friend visit daily - or even a few times a day - things ran better. By daily visits, one can learn if your loved one is being over-medicated, or if the room is uncomfortable (we walked in on one occasion to discover the a/c malfunctioning, the room was stifling hot and on another occasion, the bed was full of remnants from an earlier snack, etc. ), or other such issues. We varied our visiting times so that we could observe morning, afternoon and nightly routines. We befriended as many staff members as possible which actually did help in the quality of care given to my mother and sister. Also, when we discovered major issues, we immediately contacted the nursing home administrator. In most cases, the admins were helpful in solving problems. Understanding the staffing shortages at most of these facilities, we were careful not to come across as combative, but we let them know we are aware of the goings on and will not hesitate to complain to the regulators in our state if any of our major concerns were not addressed. Also importantly, in some states, it is legal to install your own cameras in the room. In Ohio where my family is, this just recently became a legal option thanks to just one man who was unhappy with his mother's care and took it upon himself to get something done about it. If this is allowed where you are, I would recommend it. I hope this helps and I wish you all the best.