Hi @frogjumper

It sounds to me like you're going to have a long, happy life ahead so don't worry about some big reveal on your first date or first phase of dating. The person you'll be dating surely has some health or other issues as well. I would be honest if asked, but otherwise try waiting a bit. Or like @jpnnobx stated about her husband's reveal, before any physical romance so there are no unexpected surprises. As she said, because she already had feelings for him at that point, it didn't matter.

Years ago, a male friend of mine was telling me I should date again. I responded by telling my friend that any man will run when I tell him about all my medical problems, allergies and all my other limitations. I think I was really saying that because I didn't want to date again so it gave me a good excuse. My friend responded with, "Why in the world would you lead with that info? Save the fine print for later after you've had a chance to develop feelings for each other and he has a reason to want to stay." He was right. Why would I ever think I needed to hand someone a big disclaimer on a first date? If you think about it, everyone puts their best foot forward in the initial dating phase. We are all marketing ourselves to romantic partners, friends, neighbors, employers, etc. as to the best we have to offer in all aspects of our lives.

Growing up, I was always so self-conscious about this horrific, large, raised, bright red keloid scar about 5" x 2" across my shoulder (google keloid if you don't know what this is). Other kids and adults always asked what it was, people guessed, people were looking at my shoulder instead of my eyes when talking to me, I couldn't wear sleeveless clothes or swimsuits, those darn sleeveless jumpsuits required in gym class were a nightmare for me, etc. I kept it covered up whenever possible. When I was dating this guy in college, the first time he saw it, I felt the need to start explaining what it was. He didn't say a word or seem the least bit concerned about it. He just leaned over and kissed the scar and then kissed me to end the conversation about it. I thought that was the sweetest thing ever and it put me completely at ease about it at least with him.

Anyone worth having a relationship with is not going to walk away because you had a lumpectomy, but share all the fun stuff first as anyone would do. Get back out there and have fun! You've earned it! 🙂