I guess we all probably grew up thinking it was unflattering or impolite for “old” people to always be so negative and ramble on and on about all of their health issues, so we have learned to sugarcoat it or brush it over it. Thankfully we have this forum to vent and share concerns, with people with experience and solutions!
Keep your positive goals that are obviously to the benefit of your quality of life (and your partner’s). As for doctors, I think they’ve learned to take what we tell them and factor in a hedge for what they think is exaggerated based on some statistics handed down to them along the way in med school that they apply uniformly to every patient unless there’s a scientific way to measure it. So if you really exercise 1 hr a day, they think it’s a half truth and think you get 30 minutes; so we might tell them 2 hrs a day in hopes they believe the true 1 hr we’re getting. Alcohol is the opposite - if you tell them 2 a day they equate that to really mean 4, so if we really want them to understand it is TWO, we scratch our heads and wonder if we should tell them 1 since they’re going to factor it up to 2 based on average “truth telling”. Quite sad on both sides when trying to get the truth understood. I have a true story: I’d always reported no alcohol for years, and no drugs ever, but after being discharged from a hospital for surgery a couple of years ago, I saw labs that had tested me for current and long term alcohol and drug use/abuse! While I was initially offended that my reported words were obviously not believed, I did feel the gratification that my urine and blood apparently proved it.
I feel for your pride, and appreciate your posts and honesty. I have accepted that I won’t get better, but am fighting hard to maintain what I have! But my peeve? It’s when I hear my spouse talk when someone asks him how I’m doing, and I hear him say “Oh she’s great! She’s getting better and better!” Makes me boil a bit inside. Maybe I should tell him half-truths so he’ll understand I’m only maintaining, not improving 😊. I do hide my pain from him as much as I can, but am lucky how Gabapentin had made it tolerable for me to do so. Maybe he means my acceptance, coping, and attitude… because with the help of this group, it has improved!