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← Return to Me & my PN: Why do I lie?
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Hi Ray- always enjoy your posts. I’m going to take you to task about “lying” to your partner. She’s no dummy, she can see right in front of her eyes how you navigate down the hall, do the steps, walk on a sidewalk. She has a front row seat to your balance decline. She also knows, as we all do, that there are no guarantees with life. We could be hit by a truck tomorrow and need caregiving from our loved one. Same goes for bucket lists. I’m visiting an old friend in Montana next week and have had to tell her we need to cross off riding the rapids- just can’t physically access that activity.
It is great that you are committing to PT. I do my home program every day but Sunday, do the PT exercises, walk 1 mile with an AFO, and ride an exercycle 15 minutes. Last year I got disgusted with everything and went on strike for 2 months- big mistake- I lost a lot of strength and endurance.
Doctors (and partners) like data- think how you will describe the worsening of your balance- near falls? now needing to take steps one at a time? navigating through the house with a light touch on furniture as you go by?
It’s also important to start thinking about your living situation given the balance issue may get worse. Can you live all on your first floor? Or do you need to think about a StairGlide? Do the steps into the house have railings? Are there railings vertically at the entrance to the tub/shower and one horizontally inside? Throw rugs up? Non-skid socks or slippers on?
Lastly, I had to laugh at your “lies” about drinking. An addiction counselor friend told me once that alcoholics lie about quantity as they don’t want you to know how bad it is, drug addicts lie about quantity because they want you to recommend the highest amount of the medication chosen to wean them off whatever they’re taking.
Give your partner a hug! Life goes on. When asked how I’m doing, I say “I’m walking, I’m talking, it’s a beautiful day”, makes people laugh and best of all, it’s true! And you never know, thinking about that response may lighten someone else’s load.
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Hello, centre! (@centre)
Your post is chock full of spot-on observations. My partner knows very well how much my PN has changed me, possibly not "that much" in her eyes, not yet––more in my eyes, mainly because my poor balance is still chiefly internal, its most minute fluctuations discernable only by me. It wasn't because I thought my partner "didn't know" (she certainly does), but because I have recently noticed a mounting number of fluctuations all going in the wrong direction, I felt I owed her an update.
Did I mention "bucket lists" in my post? OMG! I'll have nothing to do with bucket lists! If I used the phrase, it was only because it "felt" like a fun phrase to use at the time. LOL
Ah, the all-important question of living conditions! If you've read any of my earlier posts, you may already know that my partner and I live separately: two houses, two miles apart. But we are presently considering combining households. The question is: Which house to keep? Which house to sell? Hers is a two-story, plus an attic and basement. Mine is a one-story with no attic and no basement. You'd deciding which house to keep and which to sell would be a no-brainer, but it's not, for reasons that … well, join me over in Mayo's "This Old House" forum! LOL
I like what you say: "And you never know, thinking about that response may lighten someone else's load." I'm much concerned with lightening someone else's load when and if possible. Among the many things I've learned here is the amount and severity of real pain many others endure daily. It has made me reticent (to a degree) to announce while yes, I do have PN, poor balance (thus far) is my only symptom, that's a topic for open discussion between my doctor, my partner, and me; I've no pain (thus far), for which I am profoundly grateful. Otherwise, live––and present––with wholeheartedness. After all, why not?
Onward and upward, eh? LOL
Cheers!
Ray