Hi @confusingthings, Great choice of member name. Your "a few things first..." kind of sets the tone for my response and I hope you are not offended. There are a lot of things in life that are confusing and sometimes it takes a little time and patience to learn how to deal with them. It is absolutely great that you are reaching out to learn what can help. Your question is well thought out and hopefully there are some young men close to your age searching for answers similar to you that can share their experience. I can share a couple of things I found that may or may not answer your question but hopefully provide more information and generate more thoughts or questions.

"Teenagers and young adults are more likely to get random erections, though they can occur in adult men too. Random erections that occur only in the morning are normal in many men, regardless of age. Occasionally having trouble getting or keeping an erection is not cause for concern either. However, if you notice a lot of changes in erection frequency or ability, it could be a sign of erectile dysfunction (ED) or another underlying medical issue."
--- Are Random Erections Normal?: https://www.healthline.com/health/mens-health/random-erections.

--- A Doctor Explains How to Get Rid of an Unwanted Boner in Just 30 Seconds: https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a38123537/unwanted-boner-doctor-explains-karan-raj/.

Have you thought about discussing your concern with a doctor?