Tired of living

@thisismarilynb
I get it...I have a friend like that in Maine. Since mouthpiece, Marilyn P. left Maine, she hasn't found anyone she is comfortable with and of course, doesn't go to the unknown or strange surroundings.
What do you do at home? Have you ever thought about painting....of course, you can. Watch a few videos on YouTube. For all I know, you paint and sell your masterpieces for $800. Do you?💞

I suggest you talk with your doctor. There are beta blockers that help with social anxiety. Best wishes to you that you find a solution because we are mammals and mammals like company.

No, I do not paint. I cannot draw a straight line with a ruler. When I am home alone, I read a lot, play games on the computer, work crossword puzzles and try to complete a very difficult jigsaw puzzle (what was I thinking?) and that's about it. I try to keep up with my regular chores such as laundry and keeping the kitchen clean. Very mundane and ordinary.

thisismarilynb, I love your sense of humor! You are precious! Bless you!

If you read a lot, you might enjoy a book group, which can be online or in person.

it is not for you to mourn so very very much. Getting past a bad childhood is enough of a trip to a bad place. DWELLING on it makes it worse. Your computer can be a lifeline.
Find a book that interests you on a subject you like and then find someone to discuss it with.
I get depressed at 80 sometimes. BUT I realized there is a whole world out there that I know NOTHING ABOUT. SO I READ and LEARN....don't know if this helps...GOD BLESS YOU....Margaret O

Have ever looked at Modern Art ? No need to have any drawing ability. Just take a blank canvas and do whatever you like. Could be blots of color, random circles, squares, lines...anything goes. I volunteer at a zoo and they have the animals create art and sell it ! So you just might surprise yourself and really enjoy it...wish you all the best.

I like Modern art very much. I even have a print of a Jackson Pollock painting in my living room. It is inertia. I do not have much interest in doing anything. Possibly this could come from losing my husband and having to have a hip replacement so close together. Also I am probably over conscious about my age. I am 88 and I feel I cannot plan too far ahead. It feels as though people are dying all around me who are years younger than me. Why am I still alive? I will be starting my sessions with my therapist early next month and then see what happens.

While I am still in a bleak place nine months after my wife's death, I make a real effort to, in my terms, "get off the couch." I retired from a job I loved and spent almost 9 years taking care of my wife at home as her Alzheimer's disease progressed. To help me out I hired a part-time aide to come into our home five days a week for 4 hours/day to allow me to get out and about to attend an exercise class, to shop etc. While all this was going on, I was hit by a car while crossing a busy intersection and had to spend two weeks in the hospital for an ankle operation. During my hospitalization, my family had my wife admitted to a nursing home since I was no longer at home to take care of her when the aide was not there. After I was released from the hospital, my wife remained in the nursing home, since I came to the conclusion that I could not provide her with adequate care -- feeding, cooking, keeping her clean, shopping for food on my own. We also moved from central Pennsylvania where we lived for 30 years to St. Paul MN, my home town, to be closer to one of our children and to my brothers and sister. After only a few months in Minnesota, my wife died in her MN nursing home. It has been a
grueling nine months since her death and I am working hard to reconcile myself to the fact that she is gone. I attend a daily exercise class which is a godsend. At the class I have met some great new friends, who have helped me come to terms with my new life without my wife of 54 years. The exercise class motivated me to "get off the couch" and to reconnect with the world to some extent. I have also enrolled in a small bereavement group with women and men going through the same transition that I am experiencing. I have not been completely successful, but I intend to keep working on it. Talking with the people in the bereavement group provides some consolation. Many people keep telling me that "keeping busy" is very important to helping you come to terms with your new station in life. I don't particularly appreciate the advice, but I have to admit that keeping busy has probably helped me move on to my new station in life. I would say that I am a "work in progress."

Bless You Sir! You are not "moving forward" as many tell grieving people to do, but, you are "carrying on" a day at a time. I am so sorry for your loss. Prayers....