I know exactly how you are feeling & your anxiety. It's been 30yrs since I faced the biggest hurdle I have had to deal with. Unless you have had cancer no one fully understands the inner trauma that comes with it. I still have PTSD. Every twinge or pain I immediately think...has it come back? I have ongoing quite serious side affects from the radiation I received. Day to day is a real bloody struggle, but life does goes on & we as survivors must look at it. We are still here on Earth even though we may still go through hell & back sometimes. Stay positive & don't let the no hugs or comments from people put you in a sad place. They just simply DONT understand. Not their fault. I think it frightens them to talk about that word! On a lighter note, all the very best for your future & when you think you can't get through it, maybe give this conversation a thought....we are STILL here. Regards Donna from Queensland Australia