@shirleyd Hi Shirley, is this your first spine surgery? This will change everything about how you can move. Did your surgeon explain how your ability to move will change after surgery? Did your surgeon explain why they need to fuse so many levels? Are they correcting a spinal deformity?

I was looking for some other discussions that may have active members who had also gone through an extensive lumbar surgery and I found these:

Spine Health- "Severe Stenosis - Doc Advises Surgery"
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/severe-stenosis-doc-advises-surgery/

Spine Health - Two Stage Fusion Laminectomy- Anyone Have Perspective?"
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/two-stage-fusionlaminectomy-anyone-have-perspective/

I am a cervical spine surgery patient, and I can tell you, I was scared too. I did come up with a plan on how to deal with my fear using a bit of creativity. The first thing was to start listening to relaxing music that I loved and do deep breathing in time to the music. I was learning to lower my blood pressure and I could drop it by 15 points because I measured it before and after. Then, I wanted to find a way that I could be comfortable with my surgeon, so I added in looking at anything with a picture of him, either a photo from the facility's website or a video of him speaking, except I didn't listen to his words, I had the music instead. By doing all of this, I had my own tool that I could use to combat my fear whenever I needed it.

There was a day I had to use my plan when I had an spine injection that caused me horrible pain immediately and I was going to pass out, but I did my breathing and I played the music in my head, and that time, I imagined I was an eagle flying high above everything and free and I held that picture in my head. So I learned that I had the ability to cope with pain, and didn't need to fear the pain. Instead I could start looking for the reasons that my fear of pain held such a grip on me. I worked through it, and when I got nervous, I drew pictures of my surgeon. I am an artist and I was loosing my ability to control my arms, so that meant a lot to me, and I had to face this fear to get my ability back by having life changing surgery.

You have to consider where you are now and how that can change for you after surgery. All surgery is a compromise, and a choice to be made. If the outcome would give you a better quality of life than you have right now, it is worth considering. Fear can hold people back, and I have heard of patients who become paralyzed and very disabled who could have been helped if they had spine surgery.

Facing my fear was such a turning point in my life, and I defeated my fear which is something I never expected I would be able to do. I made a plan and decided I could get myself through this and I did.

Here is another discussion I would like to share with you, and there is a video in it about facing fear.

Just Want to Talk - "How can I defeat my anxiety about medical tests and surgery?"
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/how-can-i-defeat-my-anxiety-about-medical-tests-and-surgery/

Have you tried any music therapy before like I described? Do you have some images that help you feel happy and safe that you can focus on during your deep breathing with the music?