I'm so tired of this Anxiety & OCD

Hi Lovelyday!
I'm so sorry that you are having such physical problems! That must be very hard to deal with. I wish you the best. Then to have an ungrateful family on top of all your problems only makes things worse. I can relate to that. My son hasn't spoken to me or contacted me in 30 years. The only way I know he's still alive is because I read his comments on Twitter. I had an awful aunt like you too. She used to write to me and brag about her world tours and never ask how my husband's lung cancer was! She didn't even mention him in her letters; like he didn't exist. My aunt just died and frankly, I don't miss her.

I know what you mean about wrinkles in your face from the pillow. That happens to me too. It comes from sleeping too hard because you are exhausted. But it looks awful! I try and cover the wrinkles with makeup. They do go away after awhile.

Perhaps this is when you need to just take control of your life and body and tell everyone; especially your kids, that it's your decision on how you are going to live and while their suggestions are nice, you will make up your own mind on how to proceed. White privilege doesn't exist but if it did it's because you worked hard all your life, paid your bills and raised your kids the best you could. Remember, Martin Luther King stated that he wanted his children to be judged by the content of their character, not the color of their skin.

Most importantly, turn to God and pray. Just talk to him like he's your best friend and he is. Ask for his help in everything and you will get help! I know. God's helped me over the years in many ways; even getting rid of my migraines after 9 doctors couldn't seem to do it. I've never had another migraine in 40 years!

I hope things get better for you. I'll remember you in my prayers.
PML

Hi, first please know how sorry I am to know what you are going through. I really wish you better.

I have OCD, I had a crazy family and, my friend, I know very well that feeling that there are worse things than death. I still have rough days, so I'm not here to preach (though in my own confused way I believe in God). But recently I've had some good days, so it's worth remembering that things actually can improve!

Reading your message I thought the following:
For most of my life I have dealt with difficulty in juggling different parts of my life. My parents appeared to love me, so there was well-behaved, polite Ric. But at school I was often lonely and had bad marks, so there was sad Ric. At home, my parents fought a lot, and my mum was probably mentally ill and my dad - I now see - couldn't face that... he just "put up with it". So there was angry, desperate, messed-up Ric.

But I didn't manage to reconcile all I lived through. So these Rics were all experienced at different moments, but:
I never integrated it all so I could find who Ric was, and how he should cope.

So I think one thing we need is to take a step back and say "let's recognize each of these different people's emotional demand, let's put each one in a box, and leave some to later. Some of them are mine, and they need dealing with FIRST!"
My first step was discovering I had OCD, getting meds, and learning that these thoughts are not things I must obey. They're just unnecessary products of my brain stuck on a needless loop.

It's funny when there's a FULL MOON my OCD is worse it can get triggered very strange and I LOVE full moons but then hate them too 😵‍💫

I agree with the different sides we have of ourselves but how do we overcome the roadblocks and you said Mum if your from England I've done a lot of research on OCD and in England they have a very high percent of people with OCD very strange an interesting fact I wonder if it's a vitamin D3 deficiency or something this is my speculation there's something to it though that's for sure..🤔

One thing for sure when someone says they're OCD or I'm a little OCD people need to STOP saying that they have no idea what OCD is if they're truly not OCD because if you are OCD you would be devastated it takes your LIFE away mentally and physically it's NOT about oh I like my clothes to be color coordinated it's so much more than that it's not I like all my spices in my cabinet to be in alphabetical order and that's it, it's so much more than that it can be physical like me where I'm cutting my hair for hours and hours not taking care of myself checking and rechecking and then there's ruminating thoughts which for some people they don't have to do something physical they can just be thinking about something and thinking that thought over and over and over again which is called ruminating thoughts and that's a form of OCD I also think that anorexia and bulimia are also a forms of OCD / Body Dysmorphia and with the WORLD today and filters and ALL these things that you see online making you feel like you need to look a certain way it doesn't help the younger generation that's for SURE and as time goes on we're gonna have a WORLD full of OCD / Body Dysmorphia and whatever else you wanna add to that this is very sad and scary 😔

I have ruminating thoughts. I had them when I was starting my teens, and I told nobody, but I used to write in a notebook trying to figure out what was wrong with me, when ironically those thoughts I was scribbling WERE what was wrong with me!

I think some people noticed I had troubles. Like the stiff upper lip school teacher who once said "it's funny, if nobody gives you a task, you do nothing!" To this day I love that self-effacing teacher, who nobody ever really noticed much, because he noticed something in me my parents didn't. And said it 🥰

As somebody wrote here on Connect: life's a hoot!

Same