Dear Pancreatic Cancer Patient - I am a pancreatic and breast cancer (two types) survivor, at 69. While I don't have answers for you, I can share that having the support one needs throughout this difficult process is so important. That is what you are asking for, if I am understanding you correctly.
I recall that most of my family of origin (6 siblings and my father, at that time) were not there for me or my two young daughters (now 26 and 29.) I look back and will never understand why they were not. But, what happened is that I learned that there ARE people who care and that you have to keep seeking to find them. Yes, I have faith and I have NO idea what I would do without that. With my faith came/comes a community and people who I found to be so kind and caring. (I am not preaching at you, shaming you or telling you what to do.)
I learned that some people, caring people at that, may get fatigued and not know how to help you. I am learning to give them grace, something that has not always been easy for me to do.
I know there must be others around that you just have not found yet. Here are some ideas- cancer survivor groups, grief groups, therapy, art/creative groups, writing your thoughts out, your own oncologist and/or nursing team may also help you.
What I am trying to say, is that this is so hard....and I don't have answers, as I mentioned earlier, but please keep trying to find caring souls to help you. I recently faced a possible fourth cancer scare. I found that it talking about it to so many people, they are just "tired" of hearing about my saga with it all. So, I am learning to pull back and ask about them again, spending time in nature, trying to embroider again, etc. I wish you so much good.