@bpknitter53. I hear you! While I’m not taking care of an older parent (both died well before my cancer diagnosis) the emotional aftermath has been a rollercoaster. My initial diagnosis of endometrial cancer was in 2019 right after I retired. Good timing, right? Fortunately it was caught early and it was staged 1a following a hysterectomy. During a cancer surveillance follow-up in late 2021 a little polyp-like growth was found on the vaginal cuff. The polyp was sent to pathology and it was a recurrence. Within a few weeks I started radiation therapy and had to live away from home for 6 weeks.

My partner believes he provides emotional support because he goes with me to all my appointments at Mayo Clinic which is 450 miles away. I certainly appreciate that. Like your husband, I do need to tell him when I need support like a hug. It’s very difficult for me to ask for emotional support. I don’t expect him to “know” but it’s still hard.

I wasn’t depressed during the radiation therapy or afterwards. But like I have periods of time when I feel very anxious and well, stressed. I lose focus and need to remind myself with a hand over my heart (that’s how I bring self-compassion to myself) that it’s OK if I’m not busy and productive every waking moment. It’s OK to have an off day.

Some of us will continue to re-visit our diagnoses and experiences and wonder, what’s next? Others I know who have had more advanced or agressive cancers are able to let all that go and live their lives with grace.

This post is all over the place and I hope you can figure out what I’m trying to communicate. Life is a blessing and living with cancer is also a blessing because we are alive. Can we remind ourselves of the beauty of nature (that’s where I get the most solace) and live a day at a time? And give ourselves the grace to make mistakes with that?