Cocha, I hear you and understand your feelings. To deal with with my pre-surgery anxiety, I
tried to put all my faith in my surgeon's skills and believe that he would make good decisions once he opened me up. I asked every possible question I could think of about the surgery and possible outcomes. I read and reread all of the pre-surgery guidelines. Then, after all that, I tried to put it out of my mind whenever it crept into my consciousness. I didn't want to spend my days worrying when that wouldn't change anything. I nurtured an attitude of "no matter what, I will be okay." Feel free to vent here whenever you need to. You are not alone.