Thanks so much for sharing your story.

I would say that along with anxiety, my feeling of being so d'd isolated is a major, if not *the* major, factor impacting my mental health. It is perhaps a bit strange because I do have friends and family with whom I''m making serious efforts to stay in touch. Sometimes, however, that feels like adding insult to injury, in that so often, I have to get in touch (mostly at arms length, that is, via e-mail) since very few remember to get in touch with me spontaneously.

My family and friends are busy, and I try to be respectful of the energy and other resources they are already committed to expending by adding to their already very full lives. We live out in the country, and with my Chemo Feet I am wary about my attempting to drive myself anywhere especially into the more urban center where I receive my medical care.

I have discovered colored pencils and do find it soothing to commit feelings to paper. I am no artist and have chosen a fairly user-unfriendly tool. There is something about the time of day when the transition of day to dusk occurs. In the colder months, I found it threatening. Now that it is warmer, it wears a much more tranquil aspect. My husband adheres to a rigid regimen of heading for bed at 5 PM since that has cured many of his own sleeping issues. This means that I have to rely on our Standard Poodles and / or "distraction TV" (non-violent DVD's) to keep me company after he heads upstairs to our proper bedroom. Since I haven't climbed our dangerous stairs for a very long time, I have been sleeping in our living room.
And here I'll blame conveniently Chemo Brain, and stop rambling...

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