in reply to @grammy82 Thank you very much for this uplifting response. Re-reading my post was very helpful, indeed. Yes, this neighbor of mine is very wrapped up in herself, and I had been thinking about that for quite some time. Every time I asked her if she wanted to do something during the weekend, she acted as though spending time with her was a privilege. She rarely responded to my calls or text messages, and when I asked her one time why she does not respond, she said: "everyone tells me I am hard to get a hold of, and it is common not to respond to every text message or phone call." In any event, I am done. She would often leave things at my door when she was decluttering her apartment. I suppose she thought I would want some of her things or I would take them to be donated. I took great pleasure yesterday filling 2 large garbage bags with her crap and throwing them in the dumpster. I never asked for any of these things, nor did I want to be a dumping ground for cast offs because she was too lazy to take them to be donated herself. She knows I do not have a car. How was I supposed to cart all this garbage of hers to a thrift store? However, there were some things of value among the things she gave me, and these I plan to sell. While I gave thought to carting all of this back to her place, I realized that in doing so I would be acting like her, and that I do not want to do.

I received a call from the apartment manager yesterday telling me that I am banned from using any of my tools, including a cordless drill. "We just can't have this type of noise in an apartment complex." I wonder how people deal with the gardeners who use those awful leaf blowers or the noise created with trees are taken out and wood chippers are used. What really bothered me the most about this situation is that I feel as though something important has been taken away from me. My projects are my way of dealing with my illness. Unlike her and many women in my building, I do not sit around feeling sorry for myself or complaining when I do not feel well. My projects provide me with more relief/satisfaction than any of the medications in my cabinet. In any event, I will find an area far away where I can use my tools and if it needs to be, I will use them inside my apartment.

My "disease" has certainly taught me some valuable lessons about others in general. Many today do not possess compassion, empathy or any other sense of value toward their fellow man/women. While others may see me as weak because I am so thin, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time a couple of weeks ago, and when talking with someone I could not help but notice that they were looking at my arms as my musculature does stand out. No, I am not "buffed out" but it is obvious that I have been exercising in an effort not to lose muscle mass. For a long time I had been afraid to wear any clothing that might reveal more of my thinness because of what my neighbor had said about my appearance. Now I could care less. I always make it a point to look nice when I go out, and if that means wearing something that might otherwise make me appear "thinner" , so be it. I get a lot of compliments from others because of the way I look, so no more body shame. I can't help it if I have no interest in food. Last night I was thinking about my male neighbor who is moving in a few days, and said to myself, "women are worse than men sometimes." I wonder if others feel this way. Guys don't get so worked up about the nuances of life as many women I know do. I suppose this is simply the way it has always been, but I don't need to put up with any of these maladjusted women any more. I have my art, people in my life who value me, and that is enough.

After the initial "shock" of being told I could no longer make things outside, I had a sense of relief in that I no longer have to have any more interaction with this person. I will remove her name as my emergency contact, and redo my health care directive again, now for the third time. I have asked another friend to be my emergency contact because my sister, being hearing impaired, is very hard to get a hold of. Her new home has terrible cell phone service, but I have instructions that she can be texted. Enough said.

I am having the fibroscan this morning, then later in July an appointment with the gastroenterologist who I filed a grievance against because he escorted me out of his office while I was in mid-sentence during our last visit a year ago. I will have to humble myself for this upcoming interaction with him as I need to have another colonoscopy to determine whether or not my ulcerative colitis has returned. All of these procedures, and to what end? As my sister has said, "just more money down a rat hole." Indeed.

Thank you very much for your kind words and support. Yes, I am a survivor and I am not going to let anyone interfere with my capabilities, which are many.