Understand that it is the trauma you have and continue to deal with and alone you are not equipped to help yourself deal with it. Just because we come to an awakening, does not mean that the if there is another person they too will have an epiphany, or apologize or even acknowledge what happened and thus what happened with your brother. He may not be in a place emotionally where he is ready to deal with what he did or he may have just grown up but not become an adult and may still harbor emotions that prevent him from finding out why he treated you the way he did, let alone giving you the peace you need from him. To find a therapist. I have been on and off seeing a therapist for many years. Yes, trusting someone with your intimate thoughts regarding something that haunts you is difficult, but worth shopping for a therapist who will help you to deal with the trauma you faced and the residue effects of it even to this day. Good Luck. I have found one and it has taken a while but I am working through my issues with her. Finally, if I can offer anything more, be ready to work emotionally on your trauma. It is not a quick fix and you will have to face some stuff that may be difficult, but it also frees and empowers you because you are choosing to get well emotionally for yourself.