@karendb
I'm so sorry that you struggling with this new journey. I was diagnosed a year earlier than you, and also thought that, once the surgery and chemo, etc. were done, I could return to my old life. It didn't work out that way for me. I've had more time than you to get philosophical about it all. My current mantra is "Whatever happens, love that." Sounds crazy, I know... but it allows me to make friends with the changes, although sometimes I attempt to go around them or affect them... but it's no longer a battle. Just sayin'....