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How to emotionally deal with the estate of your parents
Loss & Grief | Last Active: Jun 11, 2023 | Replies (12)Comment receiving replies
Bless You. This is so so hard. I empathize as I have been there. Some ideas:
1) Start slow.
2) Get a paper shredder for things that need to be shredded.
3) After going through the clothes, invite a church group to come over and go through the belongings and take what they want. Bag up what's left over and take to a retirement center. Let the senior citizens pick out what they want. Bag up the rest and take to Goodwill.
4) Divide up between you & your brother what you want to keep. Allow other family members, grandchildren etc., to come over and pick out things.
5) If it's something you cherish, keep it.
6) Furniture can be donated to places like Rescue Missions will come and pick them up.
7) Allow yourself time to grieve as you go through their belongings and talk about them together. Don't rush unless you are on a time constraint.
8) When you are tired, rest. When you feel overwhelmed on a particular day, don't do as much or take a break away from the house.
9) If the loved one had close neighbors, let them come over and pick out something to remember your loved one by.
10) Cherish the sweetness of it with your brother. You will cry a lot and laugh a lot and that is good medicine.
11) My family prayed a lot to the Lord for much comfort and strength to go through this because we had too. God gave us the strength.
I am praying for you and I am so sorry for this season of grief.
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Thank you so much for your advice. I believe my stepmother's sister will take some things, and that's ok although we have had to fight her for two years to get the will into probate.
Although both parents were in their 70s when they passed, they were both pretty stylish in their clothing and the house and furnishings too. Mostly anyway. I'm sure I'll have to give away all the bedroom furniture, but the rest we'll probably sell. There is stuff there that was purchased not long before my stepmother died that's new. She had great taste in clothing and decor. If her sister don't get it or all of it, I may consign it. We've shelled out, unnecessary, a lot of money to the lawyer and we'll have to update some things in the house before we can sell.
The paperwork in that house is incredible. I think my dad saved every utility bill he ever paid 😂 and there is a shredder in his office that he clearly didn't use much. So I'll definitely be following that advice. I too plan to let our kids get anything they want after my brother and I go through it for us. I do like the idea of letting a church group go through it - but in our town we have a thrift store run by volunteers that all proceeds go to the battered women's shelter. I think anything left I'm going to take there. I've been picking up things here and there to keep for myself. I actually found a page that I wrote to my diary, which I don't remember having one, but I guess I did - laying on the dresser in my old bedroom. It's not the furniture I used, but it was a sweet entry and I was 13 years old. How it got there, folded neatly, I don't know. Honestly if I could pack up the whole house and bring it to mine I would. Probably not the best thing though to help move forward. I am also relying on prayer to help me manage my emotions. We all have not been there together since my stepmother died, but this Saturday, we're getting started and making plans.
Thank you again, seems I'm doing the right things here and I'm glad to know it!!