@colely YESSSS! I have felt guilty for feeling sad about how my girls looked after lumpectomy and reconstruction surgery. It took me about a year to process everything that happened. Yes I still had my own breast. The thought of losing both my breast has always made me fearful and I always thought if I ever got cancer I hope I never lose my breast! So when I was diagnosed with cancer and told that I had the option of just having a lumpectomy and a breast reconstruction along with a lift, my first thought was perfect This is going to be easy peasy! I'm going to walk away with perky breast! I had no idea of what this change was going to do to my psyche! I had no real clue the pain that would follow after the surgery and how long it would take for me to physically heal! Everyone kept telling me I should be happy that I still have my breast and at the age of 57 I have perky boobs! It took me some time to get to that place. I felt so guilty for not wanting to look at my new breast in the mirror. I felt so guilty not being happy with going from a double D to a C cup! When I knew that other women that I know intimately was going through so much more than me. It took the plastic surgeon to help me realize that all of my feelings and my emotions was completely normal. And I should not feel guilty. It's not like I chose to make these changes. It's not like I spent months of researching, looking at pictures being mentally and emotionally prepared for what my body would look like after surgery... I was so comfortered by those words and her kindness... She told me to be patient and to mourn what has happened and that's exactly what I did! If anybody said to me I should be happy that I still have my breast I would stop them and let them know that I agree but what has happened to me is not my choice and I am processing it! I will say I was not happy with my nipple on the cancer breast after the first surgery . I express myself to my plastic surgeon and months later she went back in fixed my nipple and removed a lot of excessive fat underneath my arms... It's been over a year since the first surgery and I am finally able to look in the mirror at my breast and accept what I have become and what I am now. I still long for my big boobs but I am grateful for what I have. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself the time you need to process what has happened to your body. It is your journey and only you can travel this road at a pace that's best for you No one can tell you where you should be at on this journey what you should be thinking or feeling. Your original post was earlier this year so it is my hope You have evolved and you are doing well.