My mother grew up with a very, very rigid and overbearing mother.

Later, she married and began a career. But she chose to move abroad to encourage my father to grow in his career.

In their new country my mother worked, but in a local government department that was later closed and she took early retirement.

With time, her pain, her unresolved conflicts (mother, living far from family, etc) and perhaps OCD (never diagnosed, but mine recently was) made her VERY bitter and unhappy.

So, yes, she was neurotic. But she deserved sympathy and help, for goodness' sake. Love, patience, and maybe medication.

Instead she was treated like a difficult presence, like someone who was loved but around whom we were always treading on eggshells.

As I said, yes my mum was indeed neurotic. But so was my father. However, as apparently happens in families, one member becomes the designated "weak link". And my mum was that person.

So sure, society must learn to understand emotional difficulties. But first families must find tolerance and compassion for loved ones with problems.

By the way, to my shame, I was forced to realize when my willful and incredibly stubborn daughter was being put by us parents in that role, the "problem one". Thank God she was strong enough to push back and make us wake up to what we were doing (and therefore seek therapy). With time, proper limits, understanding, and exiting adolescence, she's learning to be more patient 🥰

And, though sceptical by upbringing, I mean it when I say thank God 🙏.