Sorry to hear you're down but I can relate. I'm 2.5 years in and I still worry they will find it again and that it may be worse or......I have an active imagination. I think it's common and normal to worry about cancer. It can seem so random. I had so much trouble with the Arimidex and Letrozole that I had to stop them all early on. I think the biggest side effect I had was the feeling that a big, gray veil had been draped over me. I felt very depressed (not to mention the joint pain and other more serious side effects I experienced). The whole experience is very exhausting, radiation makes you tired......it's a tough journey. My husband is going through his own cancer journey right now and it's even harder for me. I try to take care of myself and I try to think one day at a time if I can. I read a saying the other day that I'm hoping to incorporate into my daily life....."Instead of waiting for the storm to clear, learn to dance in the rain". Find those little things in each day that give you joy and continue to hope for a better tomorrow. Keep reaching out. The people in these support groups and the moderators have saved me many times over the past years.

A soothing message from you as I head to bed on this rainy Pennsylvania evening! I try to put into use the thoughts of "living for the moment" and I am able to do that at times. However, I have felt just achey and miserable for the last several days ~ I never know how my day will be ~ I am looking forward to a better day tomorrow and I thank you for making me try a bit harder ~ I'll bet I can beat you in the "Active Imagination" category~ I wish you some peaceful thoughts and restful sleep tonight. Prayers also to your husband ~