I applied letting go of control while my wife went through the motions of cleaning last night and this morning. What helped was to accept the fact that reason no longer works and she really can't help going through the motions of what she did for 40 years. That and the fact that I can always find or clean a cup or glass or plate or fork, and I can always find a full set of clean clothes and a towel. Letting go of control really felt good and not harping on her to stop making a mess made her day a lot more pleasant. So she makes messes, big deal. It isn't worth the effort or emotional trauma to keep it from happening so just letting go is working for our new dynamic normal. With my household responsibilities doubling the pile of stuff to do is so high just adding more to the top isn't making a difference. We were both a lot happier today and that is the goal, maximize our happiness and minimize our sadness while we both adjust to each other through this surrealistic experience.