If I am right in what I'm saying the main point is this:
A person can be wicked, knowingly, and take satisfaction in it.

However, they didn't choose to be that way, that is who they just are. They must carry responsibility for it. But the fact that they are that way is, in itself, outside their control, precisely because they are ok with it. Which is, certainly, miserable for those who that person mistreats.

But if that person mistreats me, it's not about me. I didn't do anything to deserve that, they aren't judging me. They are making me the receptacle of their meanness. OK maybe I did some thing or other that they didn't like. But no way does that justify them being very mean to me.

So if I internalize that voice, I am now making it about me, when they voice was actually 0.1% or less about me, and 99.9% about the kind of person that mean person was.