@ilovecats110600 The sensation of anxiety is beastly. I empathize with you as I’ve had anxiety off and on for most of my life. When I was your age I didn’t know that’s what I felt. I just knew it didn’t feel “right” and I was frightened so much of the time.

You wrote that your parents won’t take you to see your family doctor. Is it possible to see a mental health therapist who specializes in anxiety? If not, then do you have a pastor, priest, or rabbi you can talk with? Many of the faith-based leaders in communities have had extensive training in counseling.

For now I will reassure you that much of what you are thinking and feeling, as you wrote it, sounds like intense anxiety to me. When intense anxiety happens our thoughts go wild and to the most catastrophic places that you would never think of otherwise. It might help to know that anxiety is there for a reason. It’s meant to help you to preserve your own life and the lives of those around you. That was helpful to us hundreds and thousands of years ago, as human beings, but not so helpful now when there is no specific threat you can see or hear. You do mention that you are about to lose someone you love. Is that the relationship you wrote about? If yes, then this is something that can cause great anxiety and you can work through that with a mental health professional.

Will you let me know if any of my suggestions might work for you?