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I read your words and I know they are true - except I can't quite believe them. That is my problem. I was working with a therapist. She has a family emergency right now so I haven't spoken to her for a while. In the past I have tried a couple of times to go to a group which I thought might be interesting, but it just didn't work. The last time was with a Red Hat group. Went to a luncheon and just sat a table by myself. That's when I said never again. I also had a try at organizing. There was this theater that presented various artists - plays, musicals, etc. For a group we could get tickets at a reduced price. I called people, went to the theater to pick up the tickets, went to everyone's house to deliver the tickets and pick up the money. All I got was a thank you. They all made plans to go out to eat afterwards but I was not included. I did this several times and it always turned out the same, so I stopped. Not one person called to ask if there was another performance coming up. Hard to feel you are worthwhile with that kind of treatment. So, yes, now I am alone. However next week I am going on a cruise with one of the women who lives here. She is also a widow. Short cruise of the Great Lakes. Very nervous about it but I am going.
Replies to "I read your words and I know they are true - except I can't quite believe..."
Thanks for writing to me....you can see from all the responses that we are not alone in dealing with these feelings. A friend once said...love yourself! What? How do you do that? It took a great therapist to show me how to see my value. That feeling doesn't come to us when we use other people's behavior to indicate our worth.
You are a sharp gal, feisty, and have various interests, but more importantly, you already have the spirit to try.
You will be almost in my backyard when you get to Lake Michigan! Look around you and enjoy the views...and the cruise food. That sounds like a delightful trip.
Get those juices flowing and tackle the medical community when you get back. Have a great trip.💞
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WAIT!! Don't say to YOURSELF, "Hard to feel you are worthwhile with that kind of treatment." Don't you see the illogical conclusion?
Really, try to look at this situation as someone who just came from Mars. I don't want to take you to my way but would want YOU to be able to see For your Sake, that something is not right. And once you see that, YOU 'll say, "Ha...I've been thinking wrong all along!" And THAT will give you a first doze of VALUE that say you cannot find in YOU. I'll stop it here because in life lots of time it's these little insights and clever ways of looking at things that give US value; that I know something that no therapist/friend/neighbor has not been able to.
My good fellow human, I think we got it wrong when we attach OUR value with OTHER people's view about us unless those Other people can Convince YOU that your action/remark/idea WAS indeed worthy. This is what Socrates did EVEN when the Oracle said he was the wisest man in Athens.