1. < Just Want to Talk

Tired of living

Posted by thisismarilynb @thisismarilynb, Apr 17, 2023

When I wake up each morning I am not grateful. For me life is not worth living. I had a miserable childhood and was traumatized by an abusive mother. I finally left home and went far away by myself to try and make a life. To a degree I was successful. I was fortunate to meet a wonderful man and we were married for 59 years before his death. Even so I have never been able to make friends or be comfortable in meeting people. I shrink from going into crowds. Now I am alone. I am 88 years old and am sick and tired of living. The only sure thing I know is that I will not do away with myself.

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thisismarilynb | @thisismarilynb | May 17, 2023
In reply to @ricm58 "The messages you have both exchanged are very moving and inspiring. Thank you! I identify with..." + (show)
@ricm58

The messages you have both exchanged are very moving and inspiring. Thank you!

I identify with a number of things you both mention, and I have often felt that my lack of a healthy faith in God is a problem. I clearly want to believe, and the people I feel well around have faith. My trouble may be that I was raised in a secular home (of Jewish origin), yet feel very well around people with faith (generally Christians, as I know few Jewish people). It's not easy to "pick" a religious path, and feels like an intellectual approach, which is not at all appropriate.

I realize there may not be any way to answer what I have written. But your message did remind me that I need to move forward with my need to practise faith, not just feel it hesitantly. Thank you!

Jump to this post

I am Jewish. Raised that way and always will be. My feeling is that you can be secular and also Jewish. It's the principles of Judaism that are important. This is what sustains me. I absolutely do not concur with your statement that you have to have a healthy faith in God. I understand that many people believe this and I would never argue with that. But I do believe that when it comes to belief in a God it is our business. You can practice faith in yourself. I believe strongly in The Golden Rule. Learn to color outside the lines.

REPLY
ricm58 | @ricm58 | May 17, 2023

I don't think I said a faith in God is necessary!🙂 Just that I think it is for me, because I feel a tug towards it.

The Jews I know are secular, and as you say, adhere to the principles - one of them, a dear friend, devoted much of his time to helping others - indeed he helped one elderly person who others shunned due to her temperament.

REPLY
1 reply
Nemo1 | @nemo1 | May 17, 2023
In reply to @ricm58 "The messages you have both exchanged are very moving and inspiring. Thank you! I identify with..." + (show)
@ricm58

The messages you have both exchanged are very moving and inspiring. Thank you!

I identify with a number of things you both mention, and I have often felt that my lack of a healthy faith in God is a problem. I clearly want to believe, and the people I feel well around have faith. My trouble may be that I was raised in a secular home (of Jewish origin), yet feel very well around people with faith (generally Christians, as I know few Jewish people). It's not easy to "pick" a religious path, and feels like an intellectual approach, which is not at all appropriate.

I realize there may not be any way to answer what I have written. But your message did remind me that I need to move forward with my need to practise faith, not just feel it hesitantly. Thank you!

Jump to this post

Hello! Thank you. I hope what I write makes sense. I wanted to write you, sensing an urgency. Seeking God is nothing short of a beautiful…life changing and deserves every attention.

I think the answer to what you seek is in what you have written. Let your heart be your guide. Follow the small but present inner voice. We all have that albeit small voice we need to amplify. God is waiting for us and is calling you personally. He is always there for us wether you have a religious home or not. He loves us all. It seems He is trying to get your attention. By talking about it and Him, I’d say you are on your way. Seek God. Jesus has been my best friend from early on. I’ve in life, fallen away but always come back to Him. Stronger each time. Read the story of Jesus at Gethsemane. People who struggle and have pain (any kind of pain) I think can identify with the Lord. This particular - Agony in the Garden. He had his disciples with him yet was alone at the most difficult time. He knows deeply what we endure and the struggles we face wanting us to know Him, follow, praise, adore Him.

I’m not sure you will need to “pick”. In your case I think you are being led by the Holy Spirit. It is picking you! Amen! Wanting to believe to believing may just take a leap of faith.

What you wrote is beautiful. Budding faith in God is glorious. I am going to pray for you tonight. Specifically that you find Jesus to be your best friend who saves and heals us over and again in so many ways…We live a human existence. So did the Lord. He knows our personal struggles and would never leave us. He wants us to be united in our faith with hope. Faith is believing without seeing, but Thomas (doubting Thomas to coin that phrase) doubted the resurrected Lord even while being in front of him and had to put his hands in his wounds to know it was Him.

He loves us all. Will never abandon us. Even when life brings us down He is there to guide us, teach us and live in and through us and lift us. I think the Holy Spirit is pulling you in His direction. Sometimes you just have to go with it, not overthink and answer His call.

Jesus is sad any of His children feel lost or disconnected. Your heart may just be on the cusp of being set ablaze with a fire that burns steady for His Holy Love.

Blessings and peace my friend.

REPLY
2 replies
thisismarilynb | @thisismarilynb | May 17, 2023
In reply to @nemo1 "Hello! Thank you. I hope what I write makes sense. I wanted to write you, sensing..." + (show)
@nemo1

Hello! Thank you. I hope what I write makes sense. I wanted to write you, sensing an urgency. Seeking God is nothing short of a beautiful…life changing and deserves every attention.

I think the answer to what you seek is in what you have written. Let your heart be your guide. Follow the small but present inner voice. We all have that albeit small voice we need to amplify. God is waiting for us and is calling you personally. He is always there for us wether you have a religious home or not. He loves us all. It seems He is trying to get your attention. By talking about it and Him, I’d say you are on your way. Seek God. Jesus has been my best friend from early on. I’ve in life, fallen away but always come back to Him. Stronger each time. Read the story of Jesus at Gethsemane. People who struggle and have pain (any kind of pain) I think can identify with the Lord. This particular - Agony in the Garden. He had his disciples with him yet was alone at the most difficult time. He knows deeply what we endure and the struggles we face wanting us to know Him, follow, praise, adore Him.

I’m not sure you will need to “pick”. In your case I think you are being led by the Holy Spirit. It is picking you! Amen! Wanting to believe to believing may just take a leap of faith.

What you wrote is beautiful. Budding faith in God is glorious. I am going to pray for you tonight. Specifically that you find Jesus to be your best friend who saves and heals us over and again in so many ways…We live a human existence. So did the Lord. He knows our personal struggles and would never leave us. He wants us to be united in our faith with hope. Faith is believing without seeing, but Thomas (doubting Thomas to coin that phrase) doubted the resurrected Lord even while being in front of him and had to put his hands in his wounds to know it was Him.

He loves us all. Will never abandon us. Even when life brings us down He is there to guide us, teach us and live in and through us and lift us. I think the Holy Spirit is pulling you in His direction. Sometimes you just have to go with it, not overthink and answer His call.

Jesus is sad any of His children feel lost or disconnected. Your heart may just be on the cusp of being set ablaze with a fire that burns steady for His Holy Love.

Blessings and peace my friend.

Jump to this post

I do not think proseletyzing is proper in this venue. Everyone has strong views. That's okay. But keep them to yourselves.

REPLY
1 reply
thisismarilynb | @thisismarilynb | May 17, 2023
In reply to @ricm58 "I don't think I said a faith in God is necessary!🙂 Just that I think it..." + (show)
@ricm58

I don't think I said a faith in God is necessary!🙂 Just that I think it is for me, because I feel a tug towards it.

The Jews I know are secular, and as you say, adhere to the principles - one of them, a dear friend, devoted much of his time to helping others - indeed he helped one elderly person who others shunned due to her temperament.

Jump to this post

Good. Go for it. Remember how the Friday night prayer ushering in the Sabbath goes: The Lord is God. The Lord is One. I was raised Orthodox but now I am not. I think everyone should/needs to do what is right for them. Make up your own mind. Do not be influenced by anyone - including me.

REPLY
Nemo1 | @nemo1 | May 17, 2023
In reply to @thisismarilynb "I do not think proseletyzing is proper in this venue. Everyone has strong views. That's okay...." + (show)
@thisismarilynb

I do not think proseletyzing is proper in this venue. Everyone has strong views. That's okay. But keep them to yourselves.

Jump to this post

I knew I would be accused of something that would attack something beautiful and pure. No worries. I will contact this person directly. Sharing faith, MY belief to LIFT OTHERS up - is sorely needed in this world. Spiritual “Health” and “Mental Health” are linked.

You can believe what you wish. If You prefer not to read what I write, you are free to pass it over.
To ask me to ignore someone is not the proper advice. Sure everyone is entitled to believe what they believe.

You may not want it, but I will pray for you as well tonight.

REPLY
Moderator
Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | May 17, 2023

Gentle reminder of the Community Guidelines https://connect.mayoclinic.org/blog/about-connect/tab/community-guidelines/

Please note guideline number 2
2. Remain respectful at all times.
- Exercise tolerance and respect toward other participants whose views may differ from your own.
- Disagreements are fine, but mutual respect is a must.
- Realize that sarcasm and joking will often be misunderstood.
- Be inclusive. Not everyone shares the same religious or political beliefs. Don't impose your beliefs on others.
- Personal attacks against members or health care providers are not acceptable. Such posts will be removed.

The Community Guidelines offer 12 short rules of conduct that help keep the Mayo Clinic Connect community safe, supportive, inclusive, and respectful.

For members who wish to connect about spirituality and healing, you may be interested in re-animating this discussion:
- How Spirituality Can Help Stress https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/how-spirituality-can-help-stress/

REPLY
1 reply
nrocpop | @nrocpop | May 17, 2023
In reply to @ricm58 "The messages you have both exchanged are very moving and inspiring. Thank you! I identify with..." + (show)
@ricm58

The messages you have both exchanged are very moving and inspiring. Thank you!

I identify with a number of things you both mention, and I have often felt that my lack of a healthy faith in God is a problem. I clearly want to believe, and the people I feel well around have faith. My trouble may be that I was raised in a secular home (of Jewish origin), yet feel very well around people with faith (generally Christians, as I know few Jewish people). It's not easy to "pick" a religious path, and feels like an intellectual approach, which is not at all appropriate.

I realize there may not be any way to answer what I have written. But your message did remind me that I need to move forward with my need to practise faith, not just feel it hesitantly. Thank you!

Jump to this post

I agree that it sounds like you are being called. If I were you, I would be open to whatever faith experiences present themselves. I bet if you go where you are called, you will not have to pick. It will end up being the right choice for you.

REPLY
1 reply
nrocpop | @nrocpop | May 17, 2023
In reply to @nrocpop "I agree that it sounds like you are being called. If I were you, I would..." + (show)
@nrocpop

I agree that it sounds like you are being called. If I were you, I would be open to whatever faith experiences present themselves. I bet if you go where you are called, you will not have to pick. It will end up being the right choice for you.

Jump to this post

I have an additional thought. Maybe you could go with some of the people you feel comfortable around, to social activities at their church rather than diving in to going to church immediately. For example, I am Catholic, but I used to have a great time going with my cousin to volleyball, Bible studies and musical programs at her Baptist church. My son had a great time going with a friend to things with his Jewish friend at his synagogue. Many faith communities welcome you wherever you are mentally and emotionally.

REPLY
1 reply
brutusthebear | @brutusthebear | May 17, 2023

I am sad that you feel this way but understand because much of the time I do also. You are amazing and I don't think you realize that! 88 years old! How awesome is that! Your are a strong survivor. I am64 and feel that way because of my three sons...especially one who is an alcoholic. Do you have children or grand-children? I am going to sleep soon and am going to pray for you...big hugs and life here wasn't meant to be easy I guess or we wouldn't need the big guy upstairs...God.🌹

REPLY
2 replies
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