I’m so sorry you are going through this! I was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic lobular carcinoma a year ago and had a bi-lateral mastectomy last November. Finished chemo last month and headed to radiation in 2 weeks. This is an insidious disease because it usually not detected until it’s stage 3 or 4. It’s been a very rough road though while the physical part is destructive to the body, the mental and emotional “side effects” can be just as devastating. It can be difficult to do, that’s for sure, find your center and try to remain grounded in that. Best to you!