Thank you so much for your insights and information. I have an on and off therapist whom I like very much. Right now she is off due to a family emergency. I will write down the therapies you suggested and discuss them with her when she is back. She also told me that I had PTSD due to my mother. I finally left home. I was (and really still am) a Canadian. Nevertheless I went to San Diego all by myself and was able to find a job and a place to live and after a year I met the man who became my husband. We were married 59 years before he died. But you are so right that you always feel you are the one who is off. In my case I pictured myself as a dog who was looking in through a window at everyone having a good time but there was no way for me to get in. As a rule I shy away from medications because most of the time I have strange reactions to them. Now I am really old (88) and alone. Don't know how much longer I will be here. Am in fairly good health otherwise and I still have my mind, which is important. I am still able to live independently and will continue to do so until the bitter end. The people on this site who have responded to me are wonderful.