Hi from the U.S. 👋🏻
I had a dysfunctional family growing up as well, but different things than you went through. I feel terrible that you had to go through that! It’s sickening. My dad had alcoholism, so a lot of dysfunction, and he died from it when I was at university.
I went to my 1st therapist around age 26, and while I understood things, I didn’t feel normal my whole life. Thankfully, I got enough therapy where I wasn’t a mess, and met a wonderful man, and we have been married for 38 years. While we lived a regular suburban life, and raised 3 great, respectful kids, it was ME who never felt right.

I’m not sure about the UK, but here in America, they have done all the studies and research, and now are having tremendous results for longterm trauma (childhood PTSD for example) by offering 3 very successful treatments:
1. TMS - Transcranial Magnetic Resonance.

2. ECT treatments (do NOT think at all about the movie: “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest!”) It has evolved into a bonafide, highly studied, and highly successful treatment, with a highly qualified doctors, anesthesiologist, and nurse there.

3. Ketamine treatments…highly monitored throughout the process.

All 3 of these areas have had people say they’ve felt off and disconnected their whole lives, and tried at least 2 therapists (counselors) and at least 2-4 different depression medications, that may have worked for a time, but eventually were not nearly as effective. But then these same people, who have been accepted for one of the above treatment plans by a Psychiatrist, say they never thought they could feel “normal” much less happy!

I’ve got Psychiatrist consultations set up this month to check into these 3 options. Information matters. So there’s much hope for you!