How do you cope with a new diagnosis of breast cancer?

Many women who would have had chemo in the past, don't have it these days, because of the Oncotype and other tests that tell whether chemo is of benefit. This forum includes those who did chemo, like @dolphina3, and those who did only hormonal treatment, and some also did radiation. The information you get from surgery will guide the way. Waiting is the hardest!

I think this is great advice. I would only add, tell people; they will be nicer to you.

You are lucky they do an oncotype where you live so far we don't have it in my part of Canada. They go by type, size invasiveness.

Agree, it does change your perspective and in a good way 🙂

For me it was researching and documenting all my possible questions. As my dx was narrowed from BC to TNBC I could narrow my research and create new questions. Then when my TNBC was also dx as BRCA2+ I was again able to narrow my research and modify my questions. The information was overwhelming at times - so I'd stop researching and focus on other things. Having other things that shifted my focus were an extremely helping - knitting and reading. But I got real comfort in knowing this site existed where I could see the range of treatments that were provided for my dx and the range of side effects that people experienced. There is no one size fits all treatment and having some knowledge and questions helped me question the treatment plan that was prescribed. I have a open dialogue with my oncologist and she was receptive to all my questions and takes the time to provide answers I can understand. From my research and the plan that was put in place I felt comfortable not needing a second opinion.

You will find what works for you - be it researching only once you have full information or researching as much as you can early. Researching once full information is available doesn't work for me I need to have plans in place even if they get modified. I also find comfort in having different paths to follow once I know what the next solid piece of information is that helps to change the next path that will be followed. For me knowledge was power in helping direct what treatment plan might need to be followed.

@dolphina3 can you get an Oncotype and use their patient assistance? I had grade 3 with high ki67%, equivocal then negative GER2, and lymphovascular invasion. Without an Oncotype I would have been a slam dunk for chemo. With the Oncotype I avoided it. I am 8 years out.

In Canada, if you are highly ER= and PR+, do they omit chemo on the idea the hormonal meds will be effective?

They don't do them here yet. They couldn't tell me what cell type my Triple Negative cancer was either.
It was automatic chemo because of size of tumor 5.8cm and an aggressive cancer. They shrunk the tumor so I could do lumpectomy if I wanted. I had grade 2A but think it was 2 B because of size but not in lymph nodes.
If you have high grade anything it is pretty much chemo for sure.
It would have to be stage 0 or possibly stage 1 to not have chemo.

I did the same thing but my diagnosis came right before Christmas and my holiday binging went on for another month. I had DCIS and wanted to be as conservative as possible. First surgery after biopsy, MRI and then a second MRI and biopsy was a lumpectomy to be followed with radiation and Estrogen hormone blockers for 5 years. MRI showed a significant area of 9 by 7 by 2 cm. Initial mammogram showed 2 and 4 mm lesions. My surgeon was accommodating and advised the pathology will determine the outcome. (Sometimes the area of concern doesn't always mean cancer) She took an area over 8 by 6 cm. Three margins were clear, three were not. It was all DCIS grade 3. The area was on the top of the breast so the larger site (being over 5 cm was doable). I scheduled for a double mastectomy with sentinel nodes and reconstruction.(silicone implants, lesser recovery than other options) I had a two month wait and the waiting it out is the hardest part! Surgery was done. Still had 1.5 cm of DCIS in the pathology but margins and nodes were clear. I just had a three week follow-up, I do not need to have any radiation, chemo or estrogen blocking therapy. I will have to monitor with MRI's at 5 years. At almost 65.75 years I am perky and feeling very grateful. I have leaned on friends(who I brought to my consults) and my husband. Not feeling 100 percent but I am improving day by day. Prayers for all going through the journey. I am lucky and blessed.

I love your comment and feel exactly the same way!

Cancer has changed my life for the better. ♥️

As a Cancer survivor in 2003, I had ductal carcinoma stage III with nine affected lymph nodes in 2003. I was so scared so I can imagine what is going through your mind. I agree with everyone posts commenting on the different things you may want to try while dealing and navigating your diagnosis and treatment. Certainly I believe it should be required for all people to have two opinions from an oncologist. One interesting fact I learned from my oncologist was that yes depending on the treatment plan possibly involved chemo and radiation will be different for everyone.
I was scared out of my wits and so many thoughts went through my mind. DO I plan in case I a not here, thinking of leaving my spouse, my only daughter, if I should not survive Cancer, and lastly the fear of having the chemo treatments.

As a social worker, I immediately ran to research the cocktail of chemo medication and side effects. I wanted to pass out. I am very pain tolerant yet it's not pain I feared upon having chemo my body IT's was the thought of having the nausea and feeling as if you are loosing your memory, weight loss, nausea, hair loss and sometimes and just the fear of not being in control of my body. I felt guilty I. had to leave work. (ANTI NAUSEA MEDS ARE MUCH IMPROVED IN 2023)

Next time I saw the oncologist he looked at me and said, " OH, NO don't tell me you went to read up on all the side effects to chemo cocktails meds I will be prescribing for your chemo infusions. YEs, I said, HE hugged and said, NO! I should have know. you would research everything. HE said, let me explain. He explained that the meds he prescribed for my chemo infusions /chemo meds list 16 side effects, you may have 4 side effects sometimes, or less rarely more than four side effects at the same time. So stop lady, stop reading everything that is going to make you feel sick. We can do a number on ourselves mentally.

HE was right. Research is great and it's out there for all to read. Everyone's body is different and so the side effects will vary. Research is important but we have to be cautious as to what we read. Not everything is in stone, Side effects vary and are temporary and as soon as you finished the last chemo treatment things begin to improve. I also had 9 lymph nodes removed and half my boob was gone. NO reconstruction. My choice. Yuck chemo was not a party but no as bad as I had imagined. IT was a bit uncomfortable yet the healing process was swift. I lost 20 lbs which I didn't need to loose. Came home with new support for arms to avoid lymphedema and methods to address lymphedema. I slept on a recliner and propped my arm over my head with an infusion stand to keep drainage of arm from preventing swelling. IT worked.
Cancer treatment has come a long long way in 2003. In 2023 there are other options. I missed my hair(my own Vanity) yet my Haitian co workers showed me how to wrap my hair with long bands of nylon stretch cloth. . They are very comfortable. You tie and twist and it's beautiful. YOU TUBE video . I felt like Carmen Miranda, I just needed some fruit to finish off the look. This head piece looks very elegant if you have to go to any parties/ wedding, etc and very warm in winter. Wigs are great in winter if you can afford but I passed on wigs.

As a person who was devoted to working with geriatric patients the most difficult thing was to stop work for a few months, I felt guilt until a 94 yr old female resident at nursing home told me , "Try to remember we only have so much control over our lives and as soon as you know that. you will be better off and stop worrying for that which has not happened. Be grateful that. you are in the best area of the country, NYC to address your cancer. Surrender and remember those women who. are not as fortunate as you." Well that really grounded me, I learned the lesson No pity party , no more why me? YEs it runs in families and I was exposed to a toxic area in Texas. Where was Dateline then? Thank you Citgo Refinery. My parents received half a million dollars in settlement and my dad also came down with bladder cancer.
So you are moving in the right direction and. have people around you that will generously help and guide you. The support groups are always not perfect but it's people dealing with the same diagnosis. I had great friends for my support group I cherish to this day. Journal if you can, paint if you can, Garden if you are able...plants are healing. You may cry and that is cleansing for the body and mind but that smile can warm many hearts too. Keep us posted