Reading everyone's input reminds me of how amazing we are as carepartners. Not perfect but amazing! We choose to show up everyday for our loved one!
One important tool I have recognized is that my husband is so often a mood sponge who reflects back to me the mood I present to him. If I stay cool, calm and collected, 95% of the time he does also!! If I get upset, so does he!!
Acceptance of this journey is NOT approval!! Dementia in its many forms is so tough!! But I got up today to focus on enjoying as many moments as I can.
One of the biggest adjustments is to simply enjoy and focus on the moments as long range plans and goals are no longer achievable/doable as they were in the past.
The importance of taking care of oneself is that is I don't take care of me I will not be able to take care of him, or even be around to take care of him!!
The idea of not having your loved one at home can feel so overwhelming, such a huge loss. Not being able to keep your loved one at home does not make you a failure!! Because being able to handle being on duty 24/7 for years on end takes a tremendous toll on your body, mind, emotions. You also age!! If you squeeze in a little time to go visit different facilities before hand, you will have facts to address, time to process all the information and emotions that are a part of this difficult decision.
Take a deep breath or five!! Smile at yourself in the mirror!! Give yourself a hug. Say thanks to yourself for showing up today!! May God grant you both peace (and some sleep!!)!!