@upstairs17, that must be hard news to swallow. I think you are wise to learn about the side effects of treatment and weigh what is meaningful for you between quality and quantity of life. Keep in mind that sometimes treatments like radition can be used to help manage pain as a palliative treatment. The goal of treatment can be to keep you comfortable and not necessarily to extend life.

Have you looked into palliative care or hospice care? Do you live alone?

As cliché as it is to say, you are NOT alone. We are ALL here with you, even though the silence in the room may feel lonesome. If there is one thing I can tell you, if you get the opinion from one doctor, FIND another opinion of one or 2 more doctors. If they all say the same thing, then at least you put enough feelers out there. There's a lot of strained healthcare systems out there, and time to time, doctors are gonna miss things. In the meantime, find something that brings you joy, even if it's something as small as watching the sunrise and sunset.

Prayers are with you. If you are not in touch with palliative care, your treatment team should be able to put you in touch. Palliative care is about improving the quality of life rather than prolonging life. Thanks for sharing your very difficult story.