He passed away October 30th , it’s been hard but I promised him I would stay strong for me and him. It’s been hard to mourn him. I don’t know if anyone has experienced a lost and then there family attacking you like if it’s your fault. I have not gone to a support group but I decided take baby steps and start from here. And just express my thoughts, my feelings, my experience. But I can say he never gave up he wanted to live and he fought until the end. Omg he was a fighter he really was. Until he was too weak to bear he was so much in pain he did not want to wake up no more. He decided to do hospice at home , I wanted to respect his wishes and I was only able to do so much I was 24/7 alone with him with no sleep on the 4th day I couldn’t no more. I called for help and hospice of the valley came so quick to pick him up. My hands were not meant to give him narcos and put him to sleep I was too weak I felt like I was the one killing him I told the nurse I can’t do this it is so hard. But my husband he understood I was tired, hurt, sad and I loved him so much to go so far. Hospice of the valley in Arizona (Ryan house) were so helpful they helped me until the end. They helped him to be relaxed as they could help him for his pain and suffering. What comforts me and helps me feel
Ok everyday knowing he is no longer suffering he is pain free. He was so beautiful