in reply to @yani2023 Yani, thank you for your lovely note. I agree with you on the self pity issue, however, having compassion for yourself is okay. Self pity is sometimes a result of depression and can limit one's ability to see what is really going on, presently. Think: "I cannot see the forest through the trees." I think our mothers were related, because I too grew up with that mentality that one should "pull themselves up by their bootstraps" and just move on. I am not sure this was a healthy thing to instill in a child, because sometimes we all need some help when we are unable to help ourselves. In other words, it is okay to ask for help. I do not practice self pity, but there are times when I feel sad for myself and for the things in my life I have had to bear. At times all of it has felt like too much. I am not religious, so when people tell me "God does not give us more than we can handle" I simply file that away because it is not helpful when we are unable to find a reason for our own sufferings.
I do not trust that my doctor has my best interests in mind. Afterall, he has asked me twice now if I want a new one. I still see him, but I have other clinicians that I know have compassion for me and are willing to listen to my fears about all of my various conditions.
As far as dysfunctional families, I agree with you. I have older 2 sisters, one of whom has not spoken t me in over 2 years because of something that happened, which was so insignificant that I have forgotten what it was all about, her reason for dumping me. I am fortunate to have another sister, ten years older than I, with whom I have always been close to. However, she is facing her own dilemma, so I try not to add anymore worry to her life by telling her the minute details about my own health situation.
I am fortunate to have a good support system, a very positive attitude, and compassion for others that is without end. I like you, have an abundance of gratitude, that many do not. In fact, I would dare say that many do not know what this means, gratitude. Every day is a gift. And as you mentioned, when you wake up and breathe, you are alive. Another day, a gift.
My heart is with you.