It is monumentally frustrating at times. Mindset is where we start and it is important. And, supportive spouses, like mine, are supremely important to thriving within a life with PC and its consequences. A life we did not choose or foresee. And, I am grateful for being able to live a life still worth living.
That being said, a healthy sex life is extremely important to having a full and compete human life. I miss it and get very emotional about the loss. And, I feel damaged by this illness and angry. Nothing about this is fair and my cancer doesn't care. I have to be honest. I have built a wall between me and my husband to some degree out of shame that my equipment no longer works. To be graphic, my penis seems to have shrunk to the size of a three year old. At least it seems like it to me.
I have no perfect answer for you. For me, it means asking my husband if I have told him I love him today. Then when he says no, I hug him, kiss him, and say it, then hug him like it will be my last. I do this everyday. Cuddling in bed and helping him enjoy himself in other ways is a work in progress. Touch is so important and necessary. It is far from the same, but I treasure what we do have.