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in reply to @yani2023 I commend you for overcoming so many challenges in your life. I have had my share of grief, and like you, I make it a point to wake up each day with gratitude because I know that many did not wake up today, or they woke up and learned that their life would soon end. I thought I was doing well with my liver/pancreatic issues, lab tests that suggest multiple myeloma, etc, until I found a lump on my breast a few days ago. Normally I would not be as concerned as I am, but breast cancer runs rampant on my mother's side of my family. She died from it, as did my aunt and grandmother, Both of my sisters had breast cancer in their 60's. While my doctor told me yesterday he did not suspect the lump was of great concern, I know I will breathe a little easier once I have the diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound next week. Sometimes it feels like I cannot catch a break, but I still have gratitude because at this point in life, that is all we have. I too give much of myself to others without expecting anything in return. Sometimes I do feel let down by those who do not appreciate my kindness, but I try not to take it personally when I am shunned because of my disease, my "lifestyle" or any other thing for that matter. In any event, you seem to be doing a fantastic job handling everything life has thrown your way, and I admire your strength.
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Frances I was touched by your reply. Thank you of course. I am with you that when I wake up in the morning and I find I opened my eyes, Yes, we take a deep breathe and just say to ourselves we are alive. Thanks to a higher power( what ever your belief system is) or if you have no belief system breath and acknowledge to yourself you are alive one more day.
Gratitude in my opinion is sadly overlooked by many people who are cluelessly unaware of what each person no matter how rich, old, accomplished, ect ect we are may experience. Sadly far too many are not very observant of what goes on in other peoples lives, or do not have the ability to be sensitive, understanding to other experiences * eg. Medical conditions/diseases , home displacement, violence, loss, crime, poverty and list goes on and on, until we walk that walk ourselves. No one can teach theses life lessons which we all, no matter who we are, will experience in life. Some early in life others later in life.
Our society is on a merry go round going faster and faster, We don't want to get off and smell the roses that are in our lives. Perhaps I was taught as a children to observe other people and be cognizant of their life experience of which sadly many people have no control of. Only in my opinion, there is not formula for the life lessons we learn will learn along the way of our years here on earth.
Fear paralyzes so many people. ITs caustic and until we understand the source of where fear comes from we are stuck in the same mindset. Having empathy with others is short of unheard of today. The pace of life is far too busy and so often so difficult during different times in our lives. I believe (only own opinion ) we have to remove ourselves and get off the merry go round to give our mind a break thus allowing the mind and spirit within us to rest and recharge to continue.
Guess my mother who was a nurse practitioner since WWII would say, I don't care what you are going through, In this house there is no pity party. Pick yourself up or your own thoughts will swallow you up in a heart beat. Do not look at what you don't. have but stop and think about what you are lucky to have at this point. She had seen returning vet from WWII.
She would say," You can change a situation at any time based on attitude, decision we make and letting go of the fear.}. Some thing we have no control of so give it up." Once you understand this. you will be better off. You can't have everything your way." It's Your choice how you observe and see things that happen to us. Everyone's choice. Life lessons.
Guidance? Unfortunately many people are raised in dysfunctional families with no guidance,... so we have to seek it ourselves.. I don't care if you believe in GOD, Nature or whatever. Humans are just not made up of atoms). We are the spark of life that's why we are alive and breathing, We aren't accident that just happen. For certain during different times in our lives at some point in our lives we will question many things that happen to us, of which we in some situation have no control. What are these experience which we all
have in life? Lessons we pass through. THEy will bring understanding and peace ;however, painful they may be. Being stuck in a situation when fear paralyzes can be difficult to overcome but we have to process that fear and move forward with our lives.
Again to understand that everyday we wake up and breathe and have our sight is a gift. Sadly many people never stop to realize what they do have/had in life instead of what they want or need to live a happy life. Guess I think when I was a child and my mom would take me to work with. her. Seeing people gravely terminally ill woke me up. I saw people in those iron lung machines ( polio in the 1950's. As frighten as it was to see these children my age was to understand how lucky many of us children in the 1950's did not contract polio). I never imagine that was a life lesson not experienced by enough people.
When we have financial security, good home, great friends, travel and opportunities they are often taken for granted. Some people are Clueless to the fact that money means nothing if you don't have your health. We see this with movie stars celebrities and others in our time.
Okay, sorry to get of the tangent here. With our possible diagnosis's do not fear. Modern medicine if fabulous. Take a tape recorder with you and take a deep breathe, your dr will guide you and take care of what ever your diagnosis is. My Sense is you will be fine. Treatment for Cancer has come a very long way. We have to trust as much as possible and make a plan for ourselves. Others have walked in your shoes. Best of luck.
Lastly my life lesson from my mother was HAVE NO PITY Party. Put your big girl panties on and move forward. She would say, "Stop the Bellyaching". I finally got it at an early age and this has carried me through whatever I have gone through, otherwise we might as well roll up in a ball and allow other to make decisions for us.
Keep in touch if you need anything else. Glad to help in any way.
My best.