Bill....from your post, I finally have an eye opening clarity about being a caregiver. Others cannot possibly understand the daily loss in this devastating fight for the love of one's life- it is a lonely time for the person and the caregiver.- but it can be a fruitful time when faced with this knowledge and accepting of the fact that you "will have to pull up your bootstraps" and do the best you can each minute, hour, day, and forgive yourself for the other moments when you don't quite meet the goal. The children do have their own lives and families and this burden is not theirs - they only have one shot at being a parent, at having a family, and we (my sweet hubby and I) want them to be the best they can be in this role. Our friends cannot possibly understand the moment by moment changes that bring new, and often unexpected challenges, so it is not their fault that they are not here with any consistency. Even when so many have promised to come by more, get together more, come and stay so I can get away for a bit (in 5 years this has happened once for two long and amazing hours), etc., I just smile and thank them - after all it is a lovely thought. And you are totally correct, "the calvary is not coming", no one is coming.....and those words will be displayed on the inside of my medicine cabinet as a reminder that I can and will stay the course with a renewed strength, and I will treasure the rare moments when that flicker of personality appears and evokes a happy memory. Thank you for this well written post. Your words have made a difference and are powerful - today has already started off much better. Hugs and prayers for you and yours.
Jan