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Loss of husband: I'm only existing, how do I live again?
Loss & Grief | Last Active: May 1, 2023 | Replies (123)Comment receiving replies
Hello Deb, I see you wrote this exactly one year ago. The part of your note that caught my attention was that you had a one year memorial for your Husband. It's been 5 months since my Husband passed and I haven't had a ceremony of any kind yet. It's a long story, but I put it off because we both had Covid at his ending. Then my mobility came into the picture, I am having knee replaced in 2 days. Now I want to heal from that and plan a Memorial for my Husband. I feel this responsibility over my head. I will honor my Husband, but now it is still a few months off. I feel like I am failing him.
Replies to "Hello Deb, I see you wrote this exactly one year ago. The part of your note..."
It was two years before I had a “memories”gathering for my husband. I put his large collection of baseball caps on each table, along with his collection of wacky socks. Guests were advised to be ready to share a fond/funny story. Lunch was served and everyone said it was the best memorial ever.
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Dear Maggiegirl123,
Thank you for reaching out to me. Please do not feel like you are failing your husband. Everyone has a different situation. I had to coordinate the schedule around Covid restrictions, five adult kids and their working schedules, a grandson in school, our daughter's cancer treatment, and everyone else living out of state.
You are honoring your husband every time you share a memory of your husband with someone, help another person who is grieving, and remember the good times with family. For the second-year anniversary, our youngest daughter (the only one who lives near me) went with me to the movies to see Avatar; one of my husband's favorite movies. It felt so good and an appropriate way to honor him.
Everyone's situation is different. We actually had to reschedule the spreading of ashes out at sea a day after the second anniversary because of rough seas. It was still emotional a year later, but I felt stronger emotionally and ready to take that step. Do what's right for you and when you are able.
Give yourself grace and time. Also, I hope that your knee surgery is a success.